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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23798854">When An Angel Dies</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donny15/pseuds/Donny15'>Donny15</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Adventures in the Devildom [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shall We Date?: Obey Me!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:22:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,563</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23798854</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donny15/pseuds/Donny15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Spoilers for Lesson 15!</p>
<p>Looking to Beel for some restful sleep, you head to his room. But you find him... praying? What the hell?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Adventures in the Devildom [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1689148</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>When An Angel Dies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been about a week since you’d gone back to sleeping in your room. And though you wouldn’t admit it to any of the demons you live with, you missed sleeping with Beel. That loneliness was easy to ignore during the day, kept busy by classes. And in the afternoon, there was always something interesting to get tangled up in at the House of Lamentation. Some trouble with Mammon, a fun night out with Asmo, studying with Satan, playing games with Levi after school.</p>
<p>But… at some point, each night, you had to return to your own, dark, cold, lonely room. Though Beel had slept on the couch a floor up from you, you could still hear him snoring, or shifting on the couch. Of course his kitchen raids almost always woke you up. That was annoying the first time, but eventually you got used to it and even started going with him.</p>
<p>You had asked Lucifer upon your arrival if you could get your stuffed animals from the human world, and had thought they’d bring you comfort. But… they didn’t help as much as you’d hoped.</p>
<p>You tossed and turned, desperate for the comfort of his bed.</p>
<p>That’s what brings you here, tonight. You find yourself standing in front of his door, a stuffed animal in one hand and blanket in the other. It’s hard not to hesitate, and you feel your face heat up. <em>Well, I can just ask. The worst that can happen is he’ll say no.</em></p>
<p>And so, you raise your hand to knock. But before you can, you hear something from the other side.</p>
<p>You ponder a moment about whether or not this is invading his privacy, but your curiosity takes over. <em>I won’t tell anyone, anyway…</em></p>
<p>From beyond the door you hear Beel’s voice. It sounds like he’s talking to someone, his voice is shaky and quiet. You haven’t heard him sound like this before. It’s hard to make out what he’s saying, but you strain your ears and manage to catch something.</p>
<p>His voice is just above a whisper, but near the door. You assume he’s on or near his bed.</p>
<p>“Lilith… I hope you’re doing well. I miss you… so much that it hurts…”</p>
<p>And nothing else.                                                              </p>
<p>You shift your weight from one foot to the other. <em>That’s pretty personal. I should go. </em>But your feet refuse to move. <em>Maybe he needs comfort? </em></p>
<p>You sigh under your breath. <em>Well, here goes nothing…</em></p>
<p>Forgoing the knock, you put your shaking hand on the doorknob and open it. Beel immediately turns his head towards you and tenses up. It’s… surprising to see him like this. He’s kneeling by his bed, with hands folded on top as if he’s… praying?</p>
<p>You aren’t sure what to say initially. You try to stutter out some words, but have trouble finding them. Finally, you take a deep breath. “I should’ve knocked. I was feeling… lonely. Missed sleeping in here, and was going to ask. But then… I heard what you were saying… I thought maybe you’d want some comfort? Or something? If not, that’s fine, I’ll leave and pretend I didn’t hear or see anything,” <em>Shut up shut up shut up!</em> You know you’re rambling, and making it worse, but can’t seem to stop. “So I thought, maybe I could… cook something for you? Or sit with you? Or, yeah, never mind, I’m making it worse. I’ll just… I’ll just go.”</p>
<p>You turn to leave, but hear Beel’s voice. Strained, quiet, as if it’s a struggle to say anything at all. “I know… the chance her soul is up there… it’s low. But… I like to let her know how things are here. I don’t…” You hear him take a deep breath, “I don’t want her to worry about us.”</p>
<p>It’s hard right now to keep yourself from crying, but you know that wouldn’t help him. You take a step towards him, “do you want me to stay?” He’s looking down, but you see him nod. “Beel, I’m sure that she can hear you… and knows how much you love her.” You kneel down next to him and he looks up to meet your eyes. Despite the size difference, he looks so fragile right now.</p>
<p>Hell, it almost looks like… like he’s about to cry. You’ve never seen him cry before and aren’t sure what to do to help. He reaches out and pulls you into a tight hug, letting out a shuddering breath. “I miss her… so much. It’s my fault she’s gone, I have no right to miss her… Because it’s my fault. I could’ve saved her… I could have saved her!”</p>
<p>You rub his back and nuzzle your face into his neck.</p>
<p>“I still remember how she looked at me… as s-s-s…. as she…” With that, he does start crying. Quiet, shuddering sobs wrack his body as you hold him against you.</p>
<p>You mumble against his neck, “shh, there there. It’s okay.” You wait for him to quiet down before saying anything else.</p>
<p>And soon enough, he does fall silent besides the deep breaths that slowly become more rhythmic. You pull back a bit and stand. He looks upset for a moment before you offer your hand to him, “I just thought… we could get more comfortable.” He nods, not trusting his voice right now, and lets you guide him so that you’re both sitting on the bed.</p>
<p>“Beel, look at me. In the eyes.” So he does. He pulls back a bit, face red and wet with tears. He looks ashamed too, like he feels bad even though you’re the one who barged into his room. “No, none of that. You’ve done nothing wrong, okay? I’d never shame you for this. Grief isn’t easy, and I would never ever think less of you for grieving.” You try to look serious, so he knows you mean it, and he looks a bit more relaxed.</p>
<p>“Listen to me, sweetie. You did the best you could, and you DID save Belphie.” You take a deep breath, knowing that this might hurt him but he needs to realize on his own. “If you had saved her instead, where would Belphie be?”</p>
<p>He shifts awkwardly and looks away from your eyes. “He… would be the one I’m missing now.”</p>
<p>“Exactly! What I’m trying to get at is, Lilith’s death wasn’t your fault.” He still refuses to meet your eyes, and you sigh. “Beel I’ll remind you as many times as you need to hear it, what happened to Lilith wasn’t your fault.”</p>
<p>“…Yeah. You’re… right.” You can tell he doesn’t mean it though.</p>
<p>“Well… can you tell me the whole story hun?” He looks nervous, and you can see the pain in his eyes. So quickly you add, “If it hurts too much you don’t need to. Talking about things can help though, and if I have the whole story  then… maybe I can comfort you better.”</p>
<p>He doesn’t answer right away, and you’re about to pull him in for another hug. But he does answer. He tells you the whole story, how she was to be punished for trying to save her human. How they fought to save her, but failed and were cast down. How Beel had a choice to save either her or Belphie, and chose Belphie.</p>
<p>You’re both silent for a long time, you letting it sink in and Beel wondering how just talking about it is supposed to make the pain go away. Finally you break the silence, you feel anger building in your chest, anger at god himself, you guess. It’s almost funny, you think. Your voice is quiet, and you’re doing the best you can to hide your anger, “then it’s your father’s fault, what happened to her. You all did the right thing, trying to protect her! Being erased from existence is cruel, unjust, and doesn’t even come close to matching what she did! She just wanted to save her beloved, and what she tried didn’t even work!” You find yourself growing louder with each word, “what he did was wrong and you ALL deserved better! Beel, Lilith’s death wasn’t. Your. Fault.”</p>
<p>You see some kind of conflicted look on his face, before he eyes you curiously, “instead it’s god’s fault?”</p>
<p>With a nod, you add, “And I’ll remind you of that as many times as you need.” It wasn’t where you THOUGHT you’d be going with this, but it’s where you ended up.</p>
<p>His face is still red and swollen from crying, but he can’t help the small smile. Of all the humans, you were the one who was picked for the exchange program. The one here with him. And he wouldn’t have it any other way. “M/C… thank you. I feel somewhat better now.”</p>
<p>You nod, “anytime, Beel. And I mean that! If you ever start to blame yourself for that, please… let me know. Pain and grief… they’re normal, and healthy. But it helps to share with someone sometimes.” You wrap your arms around him, and let out a surprised squeak when he pulls you down onto the bed with him. You’re laying down next to him, head on the pillow.</p>
<p>“Will you… stay here? Just for tonight…” He whispers, his lips pressed against the back of your head.</p>
<p>Instead of a response, you just snuggle closer to him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Look I just like emotionally scarring all my characters, and THEN making them feel better... Only to hurt them again! Is that really so bad?</p>
<p>Our big boy Beel just needs some comfort, and some love, and needs to work through his survivor's guilt. And I wanted to get something posted before I leave for work tonight soooo... hope you enjoyed!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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